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Electroencephalography has shown which regions of the brain and brain stem are involved in orgasm, though most of the mechanisms of the physiological rather than psychological processes are in the spinal cord and paraplegics can be stimulated to have orgasm. The standard textbook description of female excitation and orgasm goes like this. A prolonged period of arousal, a plateau, orgasm proper and resolution. The same can be identified in men. Major studies which are still often quoted are those of Kimsey and of Masters and Johnson who tackled the sensitive topic of female sexuality in what was effectively the dark ages of the post-war 20th century. Arousal In the excitement phase, often induced by thought alone, involves the following set of processes: The nipples typically become erect and the clitoris also becomes turgid and it expands a little (though not much), and this may result in it becoming a bit more visible in some women with medium to large ones.
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That day we didn't finish our lunch, and he didn't make it back to the office either!" 10 Take a romantic drive. The next time the two of you have to drive a long distance, surprise him by popping in an erotic audiocassette. (Tender and torrid tales on cassette or CD can be ordered through Good Vibrations. See "The Goody Guide," page 90. ) If you really want to treat him, try Tina's personalized approach: "For my boyfriend's last birthday, I recorded one of my sexual fantasies on an audiocassette. I have always fantasized about being dominated.
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It's one thing to get all dolled up to turn him on, but what about turning you on? "We spend so much time trying to make men happy, we need to spend more time trying to make ourselves happy. Men always seem to get theirs, but we don't always get ours," laughs Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at New York City's Columbia University. Lynda, a hotel manager, made her man dress to thrill: "I bought him a thong and put it in his briefcase, then phoned him at work and asked him to put it on," she explains. "When he got home, I asked him to dance around the room for me in his thong.
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My younger sister, on the other hand, never masturbated and never had orgasms until after her third pregnancy. Despite the negative messages most of us have received about touching ourselves "down there," there is nothing unnatural about masturbation. You're born with the equipment and a fertile imagination, so go for it! "Self-pleasuring is the best way to explore your own sexuality," advises Grant. "We cannot criticize the men in our lives for not giving us pleasure until we have investigated pleasures of our own." Masturbation also has health benefits, says Whipple. Self-pleasuring * relieves stress; * boosts mood; * eases menstrual cramps; * fights yeast infections by increasing the blood flow into the vagina; and * strengthens pelvic muscles.
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Again you have a ready-made multitude of tools at your disposal here to aid your experience if you so wish. Most bedrooms contain a mirror, in many cases a full length one. All contain pillows that can help with positions; most have a cabinet for stashing lubricant, sex toys and erotic books. Both of the above are great options for settings and you can always dress them up for the occasion. I'm not talking party balloons and hats dressing up here, I'm talking mood setters. By this I mean change the bed linen to your favorite, have some music playing in the background, light some candles, basically find an environment that you can really relax and be comfortable in.
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